adidav9

I had a really interesting conversation today with my coworker Patrick. I told him I was presenting at an upcoming conference where it's common for speakers to put up their contact information including Twitter handles, e-mail addresses, etc and I was worried that "adidav9" was not exactly the most professional moniker with which to represent myself. adidav9 is/was my handle on Google, Twitter, Instagram, Flickr, Github, and probably a million other places. It has been my identity on the internet for a very long time - since 2009 for this blog, and all the way back to 2004 for my e-mail. 

There were two facets to the conversation. One was just the handle itself. adidav9 stands for something rather silly. I went through a phase in middle and high school where I was obsessed with the actor Viggo Mortensen for his portrayal of Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Obsessed is actually an understatement - once in high school, I baked a cake for his birthday and brought it in for my classmates to enjoy (which they gladly ate, but gave me weird looks when I explained the occasion). So adidav is an acronym for... All Day I Dream About Viggo. Yup. And the 9 represents the number of people in the Fellowship of the Ring. I simultaneously cringe and laugh so hard when I explain this to anyone. Changing the handle seemed like an appropriate thing to do, and luckily there aren't many other "Ruosi Fan"s out there so after a few profile updates, I'm now @ruosifan on a lot of social media.

The second facet was the content. What would Google ideally return and not return when someone looks up my name? Patrick took on the more conservative opinion that anything that isn't strictly professional is better left under a separate username or moniker. I disagreed; I felt that the lines between my personal and professional life tended to be fuzzy, and it made sense for it all to be under one umbrella. Plus the idea of managing two blogs, two Twitters, etc was not appealing (people who do this amaze me!). Patrick and I agreed that our differences in thought probably reflected our different age groups - younger people in their 20s tend to not think too hard about putting themselves out there since the internet has been around for most of our lives and our interaction is primarily via "pulling" content with instant feedback (likes, retweets, etc). On the other hand, people in their 30s and 40s who adopted the internet later in their lives probably may be more wary of putting personal information out there, and if they do engage, especially in a professional sense, it's likely in more of a "push" way, e.g. here are my thoughts in a blog or an article, go read them.

I did little bit of field research aka Googling of my colleagues to see what turned up in their search results. Almost all of them had defunct blogs - many were technical, but some had more personal content like poetry, vacation pictures and essays. One coworker even maintains a fashion blog that overwhelmingly dominates her search results. Most of these findings made me go "Hmm, that's interesting, maybe a bit unexpected" but didn't make me think any differently about them professionally. Then again, I already knew these people personally, so it was impossible for me to try and get an outsider's/stranger's opinion. 

As for me, I interact online both as a puller and a pusher. I think I may be the only person out of my friends and family who writes regularly (>10 times a year) in a public blog and I estimate that a good 20% of what I put in here is not material I'd be enthusiastic to share with an employer, client or complete stranger. For example, there are posts here that date back to when I was 19 years old that 1.) do not reflect my way of thinking today and 2.) are straight up embarrassing because I was a doofus at 19. Then there's the post from a few days ago where I shared which presidential candidate I am planning to vote for, which is up to date but probably creates an adverse reaction among some people who might read this blog. Both types of content could definitely affect my professional life - from a smirk to a straight up "we're not hiring you." 

On the other hand, this is my corner of the internet and filtering myself from certain opinions or topics seems fundamentally wrong. I'm proud of my blogging history and I often read and reflect on my past entries - and one day I want my children to read them, too. If employers or clients don't like what they see here, then that's an early mutual filter for the both of us. Plus, many of the people who I follow and admire - Aaron Swartz, Malala Yousafzai, Brad Feld - wrote or write about their own politics, mental health, insecurities. Relative to many others, I'm barely scratching the surface when it comes to controversial content.

I guess it comes down to the multiple hats I wear - consultant, technologist, traveler, US citizen, feminist, friend, daughter, sister, fiancee, amateur photographer - and which of them I feel can be stored on the public shelf, and which I'd rather keep more private. There will invariably be new hats down the line, too.

I'm still pretty undecided about all of this. For now I'm leaning towards keeping it all together under ruosifan and considering making a small amount of posts private/for my eyes only. I did change my Flickr pictures to be accessible by friends and family only, as those are pretty much 100% casual/vacation-based and I can always curate which ones to share via Instagram and here. My Facebook is accessible to people I know and my Twitter is open to the public, both of which I'm 100% okay with. It's this blog that baffles me, since it's a mix of all those aforementioned hats, and I'm still undecided on which, if any, would better be tucked away.

Voting

I have never exercised my right to vote in the United States of America.

I am deeply ashamed of this. I can think up a lot of excuses as to why I didn't vote - I was never registered in Illinois (I hung on to my Maryland driver's license the entire time I lived in Chicago), my vote would've meant little in a state that is already very liberal and was voting for its own Senator into the White House - but the truth is I was lazy and unmotivated to participate in our election process. There are only a handful of moments I truly, 100% regret in my life, and throwing away two opportunities to vote is definitely in that handful. 

I'm happy to say that my voting dry-streak will end this year. I have been following the 2016 election more closely than ever - tuning into debates, donating to campaigns, and making hella sure that I am registered to vote at the Colorado DMV. I have also been learning about the intricacies of how caucuses and primaries and delegates and the electoral college work. My conclusion: the election system in the United States is like a complicated board game that someone made up, Ben-Wyatt-The-Cones-of-Dunshire-style. Everyone agrees it's stupidly arcane but we seem powerless to change it. Why is that?

The candidate that I support the most right now is Bernie Sanders. Even though he and Hillary share many of the same stances, I feel that he is more trustworthy because his funding comes from millions of individuals, not individual super PACs with millions. I also feel that Bernie is more authentic in his views and has remained steadfast in them over his long tenure as a senator (with a notable exception in his views towards gun control), whereas Hillary panders to the masses and seems to go with whatever is the opinion du jour.

Then again, I don't think Bernie is the be-all, end-all candidate. I prefer him to Hillary, but if he doesn't win the nomination, I will vote for Hillary. I want to remember that the media and news sources I consume, which are very Bernie-weighted (I'm looking at you, Reddit), tend to sensationalize the little details and promote divisive opinions. Bernie the socialist. Hillary's e-mail scandal. Carson the nut job. Trump the fascist. 

I want to make sure that all of my friends and family who are eligible to vote will be casting their ballots this year, especially those who might feel the way I did the way I once did, that my vote didn't matter. Yesterday's Iowa's caucus showed us that it's an exciting time for the Democrats and I can't wait to see how things unfold in the coming months. 

Review: The Martian by Andy Weir (no spoilers)

I recently finished reading The Martian by Andy Weir. If you haven't heard of the book or its movie adaptation starring Matt Damon by now, you must have been living under a rock, or perhaps on Mars, like our protagonist Mark Watney.

The Martian is about a misfortunate astronaut who gets left behind by his crew mates on Mars. He is the only breathing, living thing on the red planet and his chances of returning home are not very good. You'd think that the author, Andy Weir, would have spent some time really taking us through Watney's mental journey - his loneliness, his fears, him missing his parents (who weren't mentioned until like a third of the way into the book), and all the other terrifying and depressing thoughts that come with being marooned on another planet. But no, there's almost none of that; Weir affords Watney very little page-time to indulge in his feelings or his reflections. Instead, the book is written like a mechanical diary of events that take place and how Mark applies his engineering/botany/defecating skills to fix the situation, punctuated by funny, sarcastic remarks ("I'm a space pirate!") that read more like top voted reddit comments than the gritty sentiments of a hopeless survivalist. It took me a little while to get used to this writing style and there were definitely times when I felt frustrated by the lack of character development, but it did allow the story to focus more on the action. And there is quite a lot of action.

I had already watched the movie by the time I picked up the book so I pretty much knew what was going to happen plot-wise. For a novel that was so focused on the math, physics and chemistry of how Mark Watney outsmarted his life-threatening situation du jour, or rather du sol, it was a surprisingly approachable and light read. In retrospect, I think that's because seeing the movie, hearing the dumbed-down explanations by a grinning Matt Damon, and having a good visual really helped me follow what was going on, even through the more technical parts.

What I loved most about the book (and the movie) though was how realistic Weir made life on Mars out to be. His meticulous research paid off in the little details of the novel, in particular with his descriptions of the the advanced space technology that NASA had developed for the trip. I've been getting into watching space movies and videos for a while now so reading about a manned experience on Mars was extra thrilling and made me all the more psyched that in a generation or two, we will hopefully have made human contact with the red planet.

I recommend The Martian if you like anything survivalist or space-themed. Enjoy the ride of the events and don't go in with expectations around profound character development. And hey, I'd be lying if I said the last few pages didn't manage to tease out a tear or two, so the book isn't entirely without its poignant moments. Just be prepared for space poop jokes along the way.