Mock Delusion

Mock Trial has consumed the last three months of my life. I've spent so much time pretending to be a defense attorney that I've noticed I've started to bring that persona into my everyday, non-Mock affairs. For example, every time I ask three or more consecutive questions in a conversation, I start feeling like I'm running a direct examination. Every time I hear something I don't agree with, I suppress the jerk reaction of yelling "Objection!". And weirdest of all, every time I now see a water cooler, I imagine what it'd be like to shove it over and storm out of the room.

But that's precisely why Mock Trial is so much fun - we're not dealing with a real case here. Our witnesses are almost completely scripted. Even attorneys can gain a fairly accurate idea of what to expect in court. Moreover, I don't actually care about Jackie Owens or Casey Maxwell or any of the other characters we pretend to defend so passionately. My job is just to make opposing counsel look stupid and not fall over in my heels. At the end of the day, we Mockers pretty much get in and get out. We prepare for weeks, show up at tournament, run our cases in chief, take our trophies and awards, and eat a lot of custard. After we're finished, we drive away from tournament, leaving behind all thoughts about the fate of our infamous defendant.

But in real life, there are Jackie Owenses who take the stand everyday. Jackie Owenses who are being accused of murder, who are facing life in prison, and who are paying and depending on real life defense attorneys to do everything in their power to convince the jury to acquit them. The thought of ever taking the stand and defending these real people seriously terrifies me. I know there are plenty of people in this world who are regularly involved with situations that affect life-and-death, like doctors and policemen, but they actually do things that physically matter. Trial law is all about preparation and rhetoric. To think that a more effective, more persuasive speech on the part of an attorney can sometimes be all that separates conviction and acquittal seems absurd. But until we invent something like Minority Report's Precrime system, there simply isn't a better solution.

I guess the point of this entry is that as much as I enjoy and become engrossed with playing the role of an attorney in Mock Trial, I don't know if I could bring that confidence to a real courtroom where the stakes are much higher. I don't even know if I'd be okay morally with defending someone like Jackie Owens - who let's be honest, probably did kill Jacob Bennett. And I don't know if I'm going to law school so this is all very silly.