Oscars Fashion!

I spent all day today running around campus and pretending to study for my metrics exam, so I feel justified in sitting down and making a frivolous post about Oscars Fashion.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these photos (they are all from Socialite Life) and I am not a fashion blogger/expert/anything. I just like to look at dresses I can never afford. And men who will never love me. And Kate Winslet, who embodies everything I want to be ever.

Best Dressed Ladies (in no particular order)

Cameron Diaz looked super glam with her red lipstick and soft waves. Her dress was flattering, classy, and sparkled in all the right ways. *creepy wink*

Regina George is flawless. And so is Rachel McAdams, apparently. Just look at those toned arms! I bet they don't jiggle, ever.

KStew sure cleans up nice. I usually see her on the red carpet sporting a hoodie and greasy hair, so it's refreshing to see her in such an elegant and Oscar-appropriate gown. Loving the mermaid silhouette and smokey makeup. If she looked like this all the time then maybe, maybe I would be okay with her dating RPattz.

Demi Moore looks better at 40+ than I ever will in my life. The hair. The ruffles. SO FAB. A++!

Oh Milers. I almost didn't recognize you without your stringy nasty hair and gum-chomping habit. But you do look quite good in that champagne gown and with your hair all did. The only thing that I dislike are the nails. Black nail polish to the Oscars? Come on!

I guess this one doesn't really count, because Kate Winslet could show up wearing a mumu made out of dead raccoon tails and I would still love love love her until the end of time. How does she always look so elegant and poised and beautiful? Life is truly not fair.

Worst Dressed Ladies:


Oh, Zoe Saldana. You are young and gorgeous, you have an amazing figure, and the top 35% of your dress looks like it's going to be as fabulous as you are. But no, it wasn't meant to be. You look like you're wearing a beautiful dress that's been dipped into a large batch of invasive purple mold.

We get it, JLo, you have curves. You don't need to pretend that you have a Siamese twin attached at your hip to prove your point.

I didn't think Charlize Theron could find a dress that would distract me from her face, but she definitely proved me wrong on this one. I hate the design. I hate the material. And I hate red lips with the purple. But I still love you, Charlize, even if you do dress like a MRF sometimes.

It pains me to put Tina here because I adore her so much. But honestly...she looks moldy too. And the dress fits her really weirdly. We all know you have a kickin' bod, Tina. Don't try and fool with your leopard mold dress!

That is all. I have spent way too much time procrastinating. Perhaps I will do a part 2 with men's fashion in the near future.

I only dream in rainbow now

OK, I SERIOUSLY HAVE A PROBLEM.

Robot Unicorn Attack has become my life. My purpose. My DESTINY. It's the reason why I get out of bed each morning, it's the last thing I do before I go to sleep, and it's even started to invade my subconscious.

Case in point: I had a dream last night where I was walking around the quads, except there were giant silver stars everywhere, just perched around on the grass. There was even a really big one in the middle of the Cobb "C" bench...what the fuck. Also, yesterday I was "doing work" in Stuart Cafe when I decided to take a 30-minute break and play a few harmless games of RUA. I guess I got really into it because at one point I crashed into a scary star and screamed really loudly/weirdly in front of everyone. I had my headphones on too so all the Econ grad students just saw a crazy looking Asian girl yelp and leap out of her chair out of nowhere. I don't think I can go back there for a while.

Oh, and there's this. It's like when you see a bad car wreck coming but you can't take your eyes off it because it's just so horrifying and fascinating at once.

Procrastination 64

I can't do work, ever.

I seriously just come to the Reg and spend my time either sleeping or playing Robot Unicorn Attack. Last night I was in the library for about two hours doing absolutely nothing even though I had a seven-to-ten page paper due the next day at noon. Finally, after I crashed into one last star and got fed up with the productivity black hole that is RUA, I opened up a Word Document and reluctantly wrote out the header of my paper. Rose Fan. February 28, 2010. Little Red Schoolhouse Assignment #7. I was immensely proud of myself, so I decided to go and take a break by checking my e-mail. And what do I find? MOCK TRIAL CASE CHANGES. FML.

So of course I obsessively read over the case again. All I could do was think and worry about Malone (the witness I direct) for the rest of the night. His affidavit had undergone several changes that were really damaging to the defense, and it was my job to mollify or spin them to not look so terrible. The entire time, a little voice in the back of my head kept yelling at me, saying things like ROSE, you're GRADUATING in three months, you need to find a job, and you haven't showered in 36 hours, damnit. But I couldn't stop looking at the case, and I stayed awake for a long time thinking about it well after I'd gone to bed and turned off the lights.

I think I might need to quit Mock Trial. Or go outside more frequently. Or find friends.