Apartment living

I think I've grown up a lot in these past few months as a result of living in an apartment. It's funny because when my roommates and I first talked about living together we were always so ecstatic and optimistic about everything. "We're gonna paint our entire apartment rainbow colors and eat Rajun Cajun and have crazy parties and decorate our living room with Edward Cullen posters! Yeaaaah!!!" And while many of those those things have happened (Yes, RPatz is constantly making bedroom eyes from above our fireplace with a giant "LOL" pasted next to his mouth), there are so many other mundane and downright unpleasant things that have to be taken care of that I totally didn't see coming. So for any of my readers who are still living in dorms but are moving off-campus soon, heed these wise words and prepare yourself for the many traps and dangers of apartment living:

- Comcast is the devil. I had heard rumors of their treachery long ago and had already tried to brace myself for the worst, but I was still floored when I saw a $350 bill from them for our first month's service. They even had the nerve to charge us for a router that WE provided and installed! If you can, get AT&T and never look back.

- Groceries are expensive, ridiculously perishable, and annoying to buy when you don't have a car. On a similar note,

- Diffusion of responsibility can wreak havoc in a kitchen. When there are 7 people who drink equal amounts of milk, nobody wants to be that person who has to go to the store and lug two gallons back. But then everyone complains about the lack of milk until someone does it. It sucks because it's always the same people, too. The best remedy for this would be to assign concrete responsibilities. Too bad we ourselves haven't adopted that policy yet.

- When your doorknob falls off, use a knife to turn the lock.

- Not all free/cheap furniture is a good thing. It might seem like an awesome deal to get this or that for free, especially if it's something big like a couch or a bed, but if they don't work properly or if people refuse to use them then you are essentially spending money, time, and energy on absolute crap that you have to throw away and replace anyway. For things that you'll be using everyday it might be worth it just to shell out a few extra bucks for something you know you'll keep.

- Alternatively, the best kinds of furniture IMO are the ones that have a neat story behind them. For example, we previously had a huge orange pull-out couch that we named the Beast because we spent a backbreaking hour lugging it from the third floor of this lady's apartment (she offered us $50 to get it out of there). We spent that money on pizza afterward and bonded over the injuries that were inflicted on us by the Beast. Although the Beast had a short life span in our apartment (it met its demise through vom), we've replaced it with Louise, another giant orange couch that we got because our 109 yo neighbor who lived across the hall died.

- And maybe most importantly: there are assholes everywhere who will take full advantage of your every generous or kind offer. Protect yourself as best you can from them. Don't do anything "in good faith" for somebody you don't personally know and trust because it can be really painful and frustrating to clean up those situations.

I hope this helps you somewhere and somehow down the road, and if not, was at least slightly amusing for you to read.

Return of the King

After an incredibly exhausting and insanity-filled weekend, my roommates and I decided that a perfect way to relax would be to grab some popcorn and put in Return of the King. I was pretty excited about this idea - I hadn't seen any of the LotRs in years and was looking forward to some mind-blowing cinematography, epic SFX battles, and pretty, pretty men.

I fell asleep an hour into it.

Okay, so it was kind of late when we started watching (9:30ish) and I was pretty tired to begin with (beach all day, not much sleep the previous night, food coma/pregnancy). But still...gah! How could I have fallen asleep? This was Lord of the Rings!! This was my life in high school. I am not exaggerating here, people.

I still remember watching it for the first time in theaters with my BFF at the Rio. We had been talking about the movie nonstop for months and were literally shaking with excitement as we waited in line with other crazy fans. When the movie started playing, I sat there with my mouth hung open the entire time. I was just in awe of everything. The scenes were so epic, the effects so convincing, and the dialogue so moving. I'm fairly sure I cried when it was over*. For three years these movies had been such a huge part of my life.

But this time around, everything just fell flat. The movie was just one epic scene after another to the point where the epic-ness became diluted and I got incredibly bored. Yay the Rohans have arrived! Boo the archers are killing their horses with arrows. Yay the horses prevail anyway and stomp all over Orcs! Boo oliphaunts are here and an ugly man is blowing an exotic horn. Yay Eomer throws a spear at him! Boo Shelob. Yay Sam! Boo Witch King. Yay Gandalf! Etc etc etc. People diss Michael Bay's blockbuster kamikaze mayhems all the time but Return of the King wasn't all that dissimilar from Transformers, now that I really think about it...

A lot of the dialogue sounded awful and cheesy too, like it was out of some 14 year old's fanfiction. It all sounded so silly and over the top. I also found myself asking questions to myself the entire time. Why the heck didn't they just make the eagles drop the Ring in the first place? They retrieved Frodo and Sam in like 2 seconds and even gave them a nice view of the collapsing Mordor skyline - they could've easily given them a lift there, right? Also why didn't anyone think of fixing Anduril until now? Its shards were on display in Rivendell for thousands of years and it would've been pretty damn useful for Aragorn in the first two movies. And how did Elrond deliver it to Aragorn in negative five seconds when Aragorn had been traveling for months? Most importantly, why is Legolas still wearing a skirt and saying dumb shit?? Does natural selection not exist in Middle-Earth? So many plotholes, so little sense.

I'm sad that I couldn't sit through this movie and enjoy it the way I used to. I couldn't even tolerate some scenes (mostly the vom-inducing dialogues between Pippin and Gandalf) because they were so long and drawn out. I'm also pretty sure that not enjoying Return of the King marks my transformation into a raging and worldly cynic. My future looks so bleak right now.

* Stop your snickering.

My life in lists

Things I am excited about:

5. Epilator epil-epilator you're an epilator oooh epilator oooh

4. Britney concert! Can you tell?

She's excited to see me too.

3. Upcoming weekend guests & festivities. T-House reunite!

2. New Moon ahmagaddddddd

He's depressed because Jacob has the better bod.

1. Going home. I absolutely cannot wait to see my family, hang out with friends, see MK @ VFest, eat home-cooked food (blue crab yesss), visit NYC to see the naughtiest of babies, drive, experience restaurant week, torture my sister, revisit all my favorite places, Metrosurf, and pet my BFF's doggie!

Get ready for Auntie Rose!

Things I am not excited about:

5. Lollapalooza '09 lineup. I know we're in a recession and everything but Depeche Mode, Tool, and The Killers make B-list headliners.

Carrot Top never looked so good in velvet before.

4. Level 39 of Red Remover. It's not fair! I'm using a touchpad!

3. Dirty laundry that sits in my room and stares accusingly at me every time I walk in

2. The Time Traveler's Wife movie. Whoever cast Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams to star in this movie a.) is retarded or b.) never read the book or c.) likes Nickelback or d.) all of the above.

Words cannot explain how bad you guys suck.

1. Fall. No more awesome subletters in our apartment, no more casual reading time, no more flippie floppies. Only a slow and painful death awaits...in the form of Econometrics.

To be completely honest, I only made this entry so I could post this picture.