Apartment living

I think I've grown up a lot in these past few months as a result of living in an apartment. It's funny because when my roommates and I first talked about living together we were always so ecstatic and optimistic about everything. "We're gonna paint our entire apartment rainbow colors and eat Rajun Cajun and have crazy parties and decorate our living room with Edward Cullen posters! Yeaaaah!!!" And while many of those those things have happened (Yes, RPatz is constantly making bedroom eyes from above our fireplace with a giant "LOL" pasted next to his mouth), there are so many other mundane and downright unpleasant things that have to be taken care of that I totally didn't see coming. So for any of my readers who are still living in dorms but are moving off-campus soon, heed these wise words and prepare yourself for the many traps and dangers of apartment living:

- Comcast is the devil. I had heard rumors of their treachery long ago and had already tried to brace myself for the worst, but I was still floored when I saw a $350 bill from them for our first month's service. They even had the nerve to charge us for a router that WE provided and installed! If you can, get AT&T and never look back.

- Groceries are expensive, ridiculously perishable, and annoying to buy when you don't have a car. On a similar note,

- Diffusion of responsibility can wreak havoc in a kitchen. When there are 7 people who drink equal amounts of milk, nobody wants to be that person who has to go to the store and lug two gallons back. But then everyone complains about the lack of milk until someone does it. It sucks because it's always the same people, too. The best remedy for this would be to assign concrete responsibilities. Too bad we ourselves haven't adopted that policy yet.

- When your doorknob falls off, use a knife to turn the lock.

- Not all free/cheap furniture is a good thing. It might seem like an awesome deal to get this or that for free, especially if it's something big like a couch or a bed, but if they don't work properly or if people refuse to use them then you are essentially spending money, time, and energy on absolute crap that you have to throw away and replace anyway. For things that you'll be using everyday it might be worth it just to shell out a few extra bucks for something you know you'll keep.

- Alternatively, the best kinds of furniture IMO are the ones that have a neat story behind them. For example, we previously had a huge orange pull-out couch that we named the Beast because we spent a backbreaking hour lugging it from the third floor of this lady's apartment (she offered us $50 to get it out of there). We spent that money on pizza afterward and bonded over the injuries that were inflicted on us by the Beast. Although the Beast had a short life span in our apartment (it met its demise through vom), we've replaced it with Louise, another giant orange couch that we got because our 109 yo neighbor who lived across the hall died.

- And maybe most importantly: there are assholes everywhere who will take full advantage of your every generous or kind offer. Protect yourself as best you can from them. Don't do anything "in good faith" for somebody you don't personally know and trust because it can be really painful and frustrating to clean up those situations.

I hope this helps you somewhere and somehow down the road, and if not, was at least slightly amusing for you to read.