Maybe it's because of the hype from Julie & Julia. Or because this is the first time I've had cable TV and as much access to Iron Chef as I can possibly want. Or because the classiest dining establishment I've been to up until senior year was like, Chipotle.
I'll never leave you for a snotty goat milk rhubarb, my love.
Suddenly everyone and their mom is now a connoisseur of the most exotic spices, the tastiest wines, and the most exclusive, celebrity-ridden restaurants in town. And here I am, scrubbing the burnt scrambled egg off the bottom of my pan, cursing myself for forgetting to use more olive oil and wondering if there are any more frozen burgers left in our fridge. In an effort to make myself like what everyone else likes, I started Googling some of the trendiest restaurants in Chicago and browsing their websites. And all I can say is wow.
You know it feels when you walk into an Abercrombie for the first time, see the douchey half-dressed mannequins, smell the douche-y beach perfume, and realize that the lighting is actually supposed to be this douche-ly dark? And then you look around at all the pre-pubescent teens squealing over fur-lined hoodies and think to yourself, "Really guys? You really buy into all this gimmicky setup and take yourself seriously for shopping here?" That's kind of how I felt looking at some of these menus and prices. Except I wasn't nearly as disapproving, just kind of awed by the extent to which these restaurants took their craft.
I'll focus on presenting you with snippets of Alinea's website, because it was Chicago's fanciest/snottiest/priciest restaurant by far:
"Under Chef Achatz’ leadership, Alinea has received worldwide attention for its hypermodern, emotional approach to dining."
What is that even supposed to mean? The only emotions I've ever incurred from dining are tears from cutting up onions and intense, gluttonous satisfaction from scarfing down a McDouble way too quickly.
"A programmable LED lighting system allows the walls to be tinted to fit the season or a particular course."
Right, because I'm going to refuse to finish eating this $145 meal because it's not the right tint of purple.
"Many of the staff are fit with the Z Zegna line of suits, cut in a slim fit, while the sommelier staff and Maitre d’ wear the more formal Sartorial suits and ties."
Yeah, that's right. The staff wear Ermenegildo Zegna suits that range in price between $2,000-$4,000. ...One of these suits can pay for an entire year of my rent. Moving on, here are some pictures of the restaurant:
Dear God, please let me one day have a house that looks like this.
And finally, what would this post be without some mind boggling pictures of Alinea's cuisinary art? Can you match the title of the dish with the picture?
Titles:
a.) Watermelon
b.) PB&J
c.) Transparency
d.) Peanut
e.) Coconut
1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)
5.)
Answers: 1.) D 2.) E 3.) B 4.) C 5.) A
...I don't understand it either...but everything looks so pretty.
And finally, what would this post be without some mind boggling pictures of Alinea's cuisinary art? Can you match the title of the dish with the picture?
Titles:
a.) Watermelon
b.) PB&J
c.) Transparency
d.) Peanut
e.) Coconut
1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)
5.)
...I don't understand it either...but everything looks so pretty.
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